Funny Friday....Kids Say the Darnest Things

Out of the mouth of babes....Everyone have an awesome day and a great weekend.

5,16, 22, 23, 29 6

No need to explain what this numbers are. Everyone looked at their ticket and realized that WE didn't win. I was talking to my friend and he said that his co-workers were talking about splitting the winnings. They were discussing how much each person in the group would receive after taxes. Each person would have gotten about 25 million. He said that his co-worker said "is that all, I don't want that"! He asked her how many millions do you have now? It's basic math, any amount of millions> then 0.

Unconditional Love vs Un-forgiveness

Unconditional love in the Greek language it is Agape. Meaning no matter what you do, what you say or how you treat me I still love you. This is the kind of love that God has for us.  I can’t even begin to wrap my head round that.  In I John 4: 8b says ”God is love”, which means God is forgiveness. Think about all the things we do that should separate us from His love on a daily bases. Yet in still, His love never changes. When somebody wrongs us, we are quick to lean towards un-forgiveness; when we should lean towards love.  God is quick to lean towards love and never towards un-forgiveness towards us.  So, if you really want to get over un-forgiveness; you have to increase your unconditional love.

Unconditional love and un-forgiveness cannot co-exist.

The Power of Forgivness

It was the summer of 1995, and I was stationed in San Diego. It was a Friday around noon, and I was talking to my dad. We laughed and joked about me sending him a hat from my ship. I was telling how much fun I was having in San Diego.  He was asking me when was I coming back home. The last thing we said to each other was “I love you”.  I went about my day, it was Friday and that meant club time. While I was preparing to party like a rock star, my Dad was doing what he do; protecting our neighborhood. Here is a little history about where I grow up. My neighborhood was the roughest neighborhood in Indianapolis. There were gangs, shootings, muggings on the daily bases.  My Dad was a vigilantly, he fought off the gangs, he gave money to the kids, he feed all the homeless. He was considered a hero in my neighborhood.

To fast forward, while I was in the club my Dad was having an altercation with small time drug dealer. Who ended up shooting him 5 times with a 12 gauge shot gun.  While he fled, my Dad laid there dying. When I returned to the ship early that morning, I was called to see the Captain. I thought I was in trouble (I was very rebellious). When I walked in, he said I have some bad news” your Father has been killed”. My instant reaction was denial; just a few hours ago we were on the phone joking around.  When I spoke to my mother, she said it was true.  I was on the first plan leaving San Diego, going back to Indiana (in my Michael Jackson voice).

The whole time on the plane, I was plotting my revenge. I am going to fast forward to when I got home.   The guy hadn't been caught, and I had access to him. Since my Dad was very well known, it was very easy to find to dude that did it.  The thing about the hood, they will not talk to cops.  Obtaining a gun was very easy. My goal wasn't to kill the dude; I was going to shot him in his knee caps and in the palms of his hands.  I was ready to go handle my business, when my cousin shows up and ask me why I had a gun.  I told him my plan and he snatched me up. He said why are you going to throw your life away? He said you have too much to live for.  

After I thought about it, he was right.  So, I end up not going through with my plan.  I was still angry and upset. When I was interviewed by the media, I said “he has to answer to a higher power and I let it go”. At that time I didn't have a relationship with Christ….so, I didn’t have an understanding of forgiveness. I didn't get saved until 5 years later. My thought pattern was, I can’t change it…why worry about it.

I had every opportunity not forgive the guy the killed my Dad.  I could have held a grudge with him and God.”  ¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”. –Mathew 6:14-15. The blood of Jesus covers your sin; it does not cover the sin that someone commits against you. The only way to be forgiving is forgive.  Yeah, they hurt you…yeah they betrayed you….yeah they stole from you….yeah they lied on you. If you are a Christian, then you have to forgive them and it does not matter how much they hurt you. You are obligated to forgive. We are going into a year and there is no time like the present to forgive.

Reflection Time

We are in drawing  close to the end of the, and this is about the time I reflect on the year. This year has went by fast, and there has been a lot of transition. I have had ups and downs, trials and tribulations. I have lost family members, and friends. Through it all I am still standing, and I can say that God has been faithful. Life happens fast and you have to take time to smell the roses. Before you go into next year, take a look back at How faithful God has been over this past year.

A Little Humor

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her Clarkston, MI class. She presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are just 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic... although sad to see it said!

1. Don't change horses........................... until they stop.
2. Strike while the.................................. bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before................... Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of..... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but....... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that..................... looks dirty.
7. No news is.......................................... impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a......................... Mister.
9. You can't teach an old dog new.......... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll........ stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust.................................... me.
12. The pen is mightier than the............. pigs.
13. An idle mind is.................................. the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's............ pollution.
15. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is............................... not much.
17. Two's company, three's..................... the Musketeers
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what....... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs
        with you, cry and............................. you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as................ Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not....... spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed............... get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only
        what you......................................... see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind........... get out of the way.
And the WINNER is... the last one...
25. Better late than................................ pregnant.

Have a great weekend. 

Let It Go!!!

Two Buddhist monks return to their monastery after the rains. They reach a swollen river and in front of them is an extremely beautiful lady in a delicate silk kimono, distressed because she is unable to cross the river by herself. So, the older monk scoops her up, carries her safely to the other side and the two monks continue on their way in silence. Five hours later, as the two monks reach their destination, the younger monk, literally fuming, bursts out, "How could you do it? You touched a woman; you know we're not allowed to do that!” The older monk replies, "I put her down 5 hours ago, but you are still carrying her with you."

What are you still holding on to, that you need to let go of. Who haven't you forgave yet?  Get free, there is no time like the present to let go and move forward.

Changing Your Default Setting Pt.V

The last few days we have been getting ourselves prepared to take on our goals for next year. We started with being Specific- what you are really attempting to do. Then we looked at putting a Measure mechanism in place- this is the glue to keep you moving forward. Next, we added Action- things only get done when you put feet to them. After action, we looked at being Realistic- if this is off then everything else will be off.

Finally, we will discuss Time-bound. If I told you that I was going to give you a million dollars “someday soon”, you will be asking when “someday soon” is. When you have no end date to accomplish your goal, it is just out there for the universe. Remember we are talking about what you want to accomplish over the course of a year. If we are referring to the 20 lbs, you have 12 months to accomplish the goal. So, your time-line could be measured in quarters. At the end of each quarter you check to see if you are on track for the year (that will be 5 lbs a quarter). When you break it down like this, it makes the goal a lot easier to obtain.

This acronym can be used for short or long term planning. It is just a guide to assist you with moving forward. You may have created your on acronym, if so I would love for you to share it.

When planning remember to be Smart, Measurable, Action, Realistic, Time-bound.

Changing Your Default Settings Pt. IV

We are moving right along with being with putting a system in place to assist you with accomplishing your goals next year.  We discussed being Specific- what you are really trying to accomplish. Next, we discussed being able to Measure your progress- this is the glue that keeps the momentum going. Then we discussed Action – the things that you are trying to accomplish will not get done by themselves.  You have to put feet to it and “Walk it out ….Walk it out ..walk it out “ in my UNK voice.

That leads us to what we will be discussing today, being Realistic. This is very important, if you set an unrealistic goal then your measuring mechanism will be off; which will lead to your actions being off; which means the momentum will stop. My friend and I placed a bet to see who could gain 10 lbs in 30 days, very unrealistic for both of us.  The mental shift that we both had to make in order to accomplish was difficult.  I had to eat 5 meals a day, workout 5 days a week; I had to consume about 3500 calories a day. I was determined to win the bet.  I came out the blocks, moving….eating breakfast…then a protein shake (1000calories) …then lunch ….another shake…then dinner.  I keep that up for about a week and a half.  Then I crashed and burned. The goal was unrealistic, and the pace that I had to run to accomplish was out of reach. Had I thought about, I would had said 3-6 months. Then it would have been more obtainable.  I did eventually gain the 10 lbs, but it took me a couple of years.

It does not matter how bad you want to accomplish the goal, if it’s unrealistic it will back fire and you will get nothing done.  You know yourself; don’t set yourself up for failure…. be REALISTIC!!!!

Changing Your Default Settings PtIII

We are still in the process of eliminating “new year’s resolutions", by making S.M.A.R.T.  goals. Doing a recap, the S is specific...be as detailed as possible as to what you are trying to accomplish. Referring to the loss of 20 lbs, the first thing that you need to do is get on the scale. The M is measurable...how are you going to track your progress? This is where you have to change your default setting. If, I take a big step or a small step, the combination of the 2 gets me closer to the goal. Remember this is the glue that keeps the momentum going.

Which leads us to the A… and no I am not talking about Atlanta. Where is the wealthiest place on earth? It’s not the US, Europe or Africa. It is the grave. Why I do say that? Look at all the unwritten songs, unwritten books, inventions, cures to diseases, unfilled dreams that never made into the earth for one reason. They never took ACTION, which is the A in the S.M.A.R.T. acronym. We can plan all day, and know what we want to do. Doing it another is another thing. How many of you went out last year and purchased a membership and by middle of the summer you were just donating money to the gym?  Or purchased it and never went. Going back to the loss of 20 lbs, you have the specifics….you have the measuring mechanism in place….but you have to action.  The 20 lbs will not just fall off by osmosis. Without action everything else will be null and void.  A plan without action is just some notes on a piece of paper.  STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!! Do not become a statistic to it.

Getting a gym membership is good, but remember it only works if you get up and go.

Changing Your Default Setting Pt.II

Doing a recap from yesterday's post we started with S in the S.M.A.R.T. acronym.  Which is being Specific, you have to define what it is that you are really trying to accomplish. Remember if you are trying to lose 20 lbs, you have to first start with getting on the scale. Default Settings 101: Here an analogy, you have a cell phone that you are attempting to sell, there is a setting on your phone that sets it back to the way it was when you purchased. So, when I am referring to default settings I am talking about the un-renewed mindset.

Today, I am going to discuss the M in the S.M.A.R.T. acronym.

M- is Measurable. Using the 20 lbs again, how will you know if you are on track or not? This is where most of the momentum dies.  We do not know how to measure or we measure incorrectly. What do I mean? See, the goal is 20 lbs over the course of a year. So, if 1 week you only lose a half of pound, you can't look at that as it's not working. You have to look at it as; I am a half of a pound closer to achieving the goal. That's why changing your default settings is important. This is the glue, when you have the proper measuring mechanism in place it allows you to see your progress.  When you can see your progress, you will stay motivated to keep moving forward. Tomorrow we look at the A  in the S.M.A.R.T. acronym.

Changing Your Default Settings

A several years ago I moved from Indianapolis to Fayetteville, NC, where I met a gentleman named Allister Edwards. He was a retired Command Master Chief (I know for the non military this means nothing), but he was pretty high ranking. The group soldiers he was responsible for, was a Sigma Six Team (if this sounds familiar, its similar group of guys that took out Bin Laden). He specialized in psychological warfare. Now, I know you are asking yourself "what does this have to with the price of tea in China"? Glad you asked! When I was being trained in how to write a plan, the tactics he used were the same he used to break the mindset of his soldiers. He had to get to the core of what was holding me back. Coming from a guy who never planned, it was a task. I used to be a "just wingin" it kinda of guy. I never planned my day, so I had no clue as to where I was going. The very first plan that I wrote was not a day, week, month or year plan. It was a 20 year plan. That's right a 20 year plan, now do you know how hard that was for someone who never planned at all. Like I said, Al specialize in psychological warfare. We sat in my living room for 6 hours straight, and I felt like I was being interrogated. When the smoke settled and the dust cleared, I had some direction. I had a 20 year plan.

I said all that to say, once I changed my default settings, I was able to move forward. So, you have your resolutions list and you can't figure out why it's the same every year. January you come out of the blocks and it's looking good. You are going to the gym every day, you're eating right, you cleaned out your car, you stopped cussing and everything is on auto-pilot. Then by March you're not as consistent, things start to slack off. By June, some stuff has already been moved forward to next year's list. By October, it's a wrap. Then you start the cycle all over again. I know that you are tired of that. 

How do we change your default settings, so that you are able to progress?  First thing, kill the resolutions list. Change it to "Things I Would Like to Accomplish This Year", or something like that. As I said yesterday, we will be using the S.M.A.R.T. acronym. 

S- is be Specific. You have to break down what you are really trying to accomplish. Let's say you want to lose 20lbs, and the first thing you think you need to do is get a gym membership. Now, having a membership to a gym is a start, but is not the first thing you should do. The first thing I recommend you do, is get on the scale. You may be closer to where you want to be then you think. How can you get to where you are going, if you don't know where you are? Remember you are not trying to lose the weight in 30 days. You have to change your default setting to, this will happen over the course of the year. Most resolutions fail, because we have this instant gratification mindset or a microwave mindset. It has to happen now. That not the case. So, being Specific will really help you lay out a plan of action. Tomorrow we will be discussing the M. 

The Time is Coming

In a few short weeks we will be eating turkey, greens, sweet potato pie and watching football all day long. Then a few weeks after that we will be entering the Christmas, and then getting prepare for the New Year. Look how fast this year has gone by. It was January, now it's November. Time waits for no one. The is time  when people start to putting their "New Years resolutions" list together. Next year, I am going to stop eating Twinkies before I go to bed. Next year, I am going to start working out. Next year, I'm going to try to like people....so on and so forth. Over the next few days, I am going to help put some S.M.A.R.T. (<----I will give you the acronym tomorrow)  tangible goals in place, so by the end of the year you will feel that you have made some progress...and accomplished somethings.

VOTE...VOTE ....VOTE

Today, is very important day in history. It not about voting Republican or Democrat, it's about exercising your right to vote. If you do not cast your vote, then you have nothing to complain about.  Remember it wasn't always a right for everyone. Lets not take it for granted. Please do not be discouraged by the long wait times, weather, or any other thing that may try to hinder you. As long as you are in the line by 7p.m. the polls will stay open. You have a voice, BE HEARD!!!!

Stop the Silence!!!

In today's society and the way the media glorifies everything, it seems though that everything is "ok" to do. You have a show that shows teenagers getting pregnant, making it "ok" for teens to have sex giving the impression that they will be on TV. There are shows that portray women as being desperate, needy, bickering,never satisfied, unable to resolve conflict in a healthy way kind of people. There are shows where you have the ex-wives/girlfriends of athletes, that can't get a long. There are shows that show men not being men. The media is powerful, and it has us as people lost without direction.

The media even glorifies abuse. Be it physical, mental or verbal the media makes it "ok". I titled this Stop the Silence, because to many women/young ladies are in these abusive relationships and are to afraid to say anything. When you have a situation like Chris Brown beating up Rihanna, and then you see them together again, then the act is justified. What makes a person stay with someone that abuses them? Are you that afraid of being by yourself that you comprise your belief system? Is that how you define if someone loves you? Is  it what you growing up? Did you see it in the beginning, and thought is was going to change? Ladies, it is unexceptionable to be physically, verbally or mentally abused under any circumstance. You do not have to make it your standard. You have value and worth, and you get do better then what your are telling yourself. Take back the control of your life. Speak up, and speak out.  You have nothing to be ashamed of STOP EXCEPTING IT.

One out of every 4 women will experience some kind of domestic violence in her lifetime. Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner then men. Women the ages of 20-24 are more like to be victims of domestic violence. More then 60% of domestic violence happens at home. These statistics are on the Safe Horizon site. The most disturbing statistic is MOST ARE NEVER REPORTED. 

Ladies if you are in an abusive relationship and need assistance getting out please contact the police and get a restraining order, get help, do something. Also, you can contact the Safe Horizon for counseling . Say something, its not worth losing your life over. STOP THE SILENCE!!!!!

Thank You For the Support

This has been a very exciting week, and the response that I have been getting has truly blessed me. I will never be able to gauge the impact of me being obedient to God. If in this week I have touched 1 life or 1 marriage it was all worth it. If you all have any topics that you would like address leave me a comment. If not I appreciate the support an I will make it do what it do. On that note, lets keep those hit by the storm in prayer. Have an awesome weekend. Luv lika a play cuzin....I holla.:0)

Let's Talk About Sex Pt.IV

Over the past few days, we have been talking about some of the issues that causes marriages to lose its intimacy. The few things that I address are just a scratch on the surface. You know your marriage and the things you're facing on a daily bases. Being intimate is a byproduct of a combination of things. Will everything always line up...no...and if you believe that, then you are deceived. Does it ever get to a point  where it goes beyond just managing  it… YES. Fredrick Douglas said “There is no progress without struggle”.  Contrary to what you believe, marriage is hard work. The reality is… if it was easy the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce as stated by www.divorcerate.org . These are some staggering numbers, which indicates that you have to put in work. 

No, I am not about to do counseling session. I am going to be real, there was a point that my wife and I were on the bottom of the bottom..looking up at the bottom. We were at the breaking point SEVERAL times over the past few years. What has kept us together has nothing to do with either one of us, but our foundation that was and still is based on both of us having a solid relationship with God. What God promised us about our marriage is greater than our own selfish beliefs. I know a lot of people that love God and ended up getting a divorce. God still loves them, just as much as he loves us. We made choice to hold on to the promise of God, and the majority of the time it is not the easy thing to do.  If through your situation, you have lost sight of Him or you have never made that decision…He’s waiting for you. It is a simple as saying Father, I confess my sins and I believe in my heart that Jesus died for me and paid the penalty for me.

The more you love on Him that easier it becomes to love your spouse. Through God's grace we will be married 10 years in May.